If we speak our mind, our friend becomes angry, and even goes to the length of shunning us. If we conform, then its not us, it's our friend's idea of how we need to be. I hold that that is a form of intimidation.
My friend KT (not the high moral one) holds that its not intimidation but respect, respect for our mutual friend (you know what they need a name, how about Cross? ya that seems to suit nicely) any how KT says it's a respect thing for Cross, and that I need to bring down my ego.
Now I'll admit my ego is rather inflated, but I still hold that respect is a two way street, and that Cross should be as accepting of my lifestyle as I am of the high moral code that lords over me every time Cross is in the room.
You know maybe it is my ego, maybe what im feeling is not so much a fear of appeasement as a lack of respect, because respect is a two way street isn't it? I guess I'm unhappy with the level of respect that I get from Cross. I feel more like I'm being treated like a child then a friend.
So the question is: How do you deal with a friend, who cares about you, but still treats you like you're not good enough?
MORONICALLY YOURS,
Zedman
The question I would ask myself is "If Cross really cares about me, why is the lack of respect so prominent?"
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's that awkward moment of realizing that said friend really isn't a friend but a passerby who's got stuck in your lane for a little too long, and you've let yourself become comfortable with that, until you notice there's something off about the situation. Then you really are at the crossroads of deciding whether this friend is worth having if they make you feel uncomfortable, intimidated, ashamed, etc. (You, as in, whoever).
I never tend to deal with people I know who really aren't in my life in a positive way; I decide to either sort it out by talking directly to them about said issue or discontinuing the relationship (in a polite way of course).
p.s. Nice play on words ;)
I get what your saying, and I agree. Another problem is that we live in a dorm. Cross isn't so much somebody stuck in my lane, as a car pool buddy consistently back seat driving. To outright rid myself of Cross would render an awkward silence in the car broken up by the occasional grunt/cough. That said thanks for the advice Sarah, it does help.
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